

You can run past them without any issue and then unleash your ‘win’ button, the LB-operated ‘trick’. Play against AI and they are disinterested ducks who have waddled onto the football pitch. They will run into offside positions, which is fine, as there are no offsides. If you run with the ball, the rest of your team will run with you, as if you were the Borg and you’re controlling them through a hive mind. There’s no through ball, and you have to pass precisely to feet, or the ball will pass through your player, leaving you to clumsily switch player (erratic to the point of rage-quitting) and dance around the ball until the game realises you want it under your control. It invites mistakes, simply because there’s no feedback about what you’ve done. But, like an elephant, Football Cup 2022 remembers, and will play the pass even though you’ve changed your mind and gone for a run instead. It has the curious effect of making you question whether the game has acknowledged the button press, so you press again or make a different decision.

Even a swift tap on the pass button still leaves you waiting. The latency from pressing a button and then seeing the action play out is the worst we’ve seen. From the kickoff, it’s abundantly clear that something is wrong. What matters, though, is if Football Cup 2022 plays a satisfying game of kickball, and by golly it does not. But that identity gets in the way of playing a flipping game of football. It certainly gives Football Cup 2022 it’s own identity.
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It’s obsessed with its own minigames, where you have to knock over ten-pins from free kicks, or tuck a penalty into the top bins. This last one runs throughout Football Cup 2022’s campaign and single-player modes. If there was one thing that would be easy to change and update, it would be the fake names, but Football Cup 2022 fails to make this simplest of amendments. Dejan Lovren is playing in the heart of Liverpool’s defence. Dele Alli is a regular in the England side. That said, for a game called ‘Football Cup 2022’ this is all decidedly 2019. Teams are ‘Liverpool’ instead of Liverpool FC, with changes like the motto ‘We Never Run Alone’ written along the badge. It does a good job of this, actually: we’re enamoured with how Harry Kane is now Harry Kanu, like he’s been possessed by the spirit of Nwankwo. It goes without saying that Football Cup 2022 has no licenses, so it does the Sensible Soccer thing of changing a letter or two in everyone’s names. There’s something Goldeneye 64 about the characters, with their face-textures wrapped onto their faces like they’re clingfilmed. That all changes when the models move or the camera zooms in, of course. Football Cup 2022 looks faintly realistic. If you squint, and nobody is moving, the matches don’t look too bad either.
